I would never judge any woman who decides that staying home to raise her kids is a better life choice for herself and her family. No feminist voice can or should make a woman feel bad for the decision to choose her family over a career. But we should all realise that there is no one rule of thumb for deciding to raise a family / keep a home.
As a “somewhat new” working mom, (my son is 16 months now, yikes!!!) I’ve observed severally that young mothers who eventually leave the working class to look after their child (ren) are seen as weak, when we should be seen supporting these women who want to take a step back in their career whilst their family needs them.
A core desire of majority of mothers is sufficient time with the family, a sense of identity and perhaps financial security!!! Unfortunately, when you feel like you don’t have enough of any of those things, it becomes easy to point fingers or judge another woman who had made different choices than you. It may be difficult, but we should try to ignore excessive societal pressures which lay expectations for “having it all” in our lives because when you find that you don’t “have it all”, at that very moment, you may start thinking it’s better on the other side of the fence.
From my perspective as a young career woman / working mom who strives daily to balance career and family, I feel the most important thing is choosing and maintaining a life style that makes you and your family happy because no matter how hard we try or who we are married to, being a mother while simultaneously trying to achieve career / business success, is extremely difficult.
With the support of my partner, I made a decision to pursue my career (I have fearfully huge dreams!!!), to juggle the responsibility of the family, work, educational and career development. I know how lucky I am to have a partner who supports me in every way possible, taking on more than a fair share of home responsibilities and parenting, sharing my dreams, backing my goals and listening to my struggles – as I do his.
So maybe I may “take a back seat” after I have another baby or two more babies or after a third child….who knows!!! But what I’m definitely sure of is regardless of the choice I make, I would keep my confidence up.
Because choosing to leave the workforce as a mom takes strength, as does choosing to stay in it as a mom; so I’ll have no regrets. For now, I love the choice I’ve made, I love what I do and I’ll never know what would happen had I taken a different path.
Love & Light,