When I had to go back to work 2 months after J was born, one of my very many anxieties was “missing firsts”…. First grab, first roll over, first pull up, first sit up, first crawl, first walk!!! It was inevitable!
The Hubs and I came home from work one day and J’s nanny showed us that he could crawl. I was grateful that she was keeping up with his milestones and keeping me updated but I was soooo sad; this was the first I missed and it was tough!! I felt I wouldn’t have missed it if I was at home, with my infant child, and not at work!! Hello, mummy guilt!!!
One Saturday morning, I’m in the kitchen making pancakes and J decides to pull himself to a stand for the first time! The Hubs was yelling for me to get upstairs but by the time I got upstairs with those damn pancakes (lol) J was back on his ass!! I didn’t miss it because of work, I just missed it. Because you cannot absolutely be with your kids 24 hours of the day even if you are a SAHM!!
First, I managed my own feelings about it, I felt less guilty knowing that I was at home with him just not in that moment. Then I told J’s nanny, even if he does take his first steps, don’t tell me, and then when he walks in front of me, pretend like you have never seen it before. Everyone agreed. One day, by now J was 11 months old, we were at the balcony having breakfast and my little cheeky monkey took his first steps (or what I assume were his first steps!!! I’ll never know now would I lol) and I felt sooo lucky and blessed to have seen that!!
Now I take control of the “firsts” that I can, like his first time on a bicycle,
……his first time in the pool, first time on a slide or a swing or in big boy shoes, but the ones I can’t control I try to remind myself that J is not going to remember who was there for the ‘official’ first time–he’s just growing and learning and probably won’t need to spend years in therapy because of that one time i missed his first swing lol.
As a working mom I know I’m blessed to be living in an era where I’m able to view pictures and videos remotely. It’s not the same as being there in person but cool in its own way. Also, there will be MANY more firsts which you will get to experience and witness! I’ve witnessed tons of other firsts. Like:
His first Birthday (hahahahahaha):
The first time he washed his mouth all by himself:
The first time he had lemons….the video is a lot funnier!!!!:
And soooooo many more.
Plus, it can still be a first – for YOU. You can make it all about your perception, so that the “First Time” of everything only happens when you personally see it – that way you’re always looking forward to something rather than regretting missing something.
How did you / do you deal with your fear of missing out?!!
Love & Light,