10 WAYS I’M A DIFFERENT PARENT, THE SECOND TIME AROUND…

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The wonderful thing about becoming a mom for the second time is you’re already a mom. You’ve made the huge life shift and you’ve come to grips with your new identity. I actually enjoyed my pregnancy body more the second time around because I knew that a bikini body was a pretty cheap trade for bringing life to this world. Plus I knew my body would be just fine, not exactly like my pre-baby body but just fine!!

And even better than already having a post-baby body, is already having all the baby gear. Baby No. 2 is so much cheaper. And now you can really get your money’s worth for that pricey baby cot / bed and that bassinet you used for only 2 months! You can actually avoid the binge-buying pitfalls now that you know (from experience) that most of the “essentials” are actually “pointless,” and you won’t be falling into that “wipes warmer” trap this time! (you can read herehere on 18 baby products I could have absolutely done without”)

We can all agree (or disagree lol) that first babies get all the attention! But second babies are more fun; because the second time around, you can actually enjoy it! You won’t be able to devote all of your time to your second baby, but you will have the wisdom and hard-won perspective to laugh at the hard days and cherish the easy ones.

After witnessing your first child grow and thrive because of (and in spite of) you, it is easier to enjoy each stage of babyhood without worrying over every little thing. You are likely to be wayyyy more relaxed; after all you have a decent idea of what to expect – so you enjoy each stage knowing “this too shall pass”.

And that’s another thing: Time passes so much more quickly.

With my first baby, I remember waiting impatiently for every milestone!! First giggle, first crawl *check*, walk *check* first tooth *check* These days I’m like “oh no, he’s crawling ALREADY!!!” lol.

And the second time around, there’s the fact that you’ve now got fellow yummy mummy friends. Yup, by your second baby you’ve probably made a tribe of mummy friends who can totally relate to leaky boobs and poop explosions, and your non-mummy friends (who you soooo need to keep your sanity lol) have probably adjusted to your mummy status and schedule!

Honestly, I didn’t plan on parenting differently the second time around. In fact, I swore I won’t yet, 7 months down the line, I feel like I’ve become such a different mom from how I was when I had my first Love Bug. Here’s how I’ve changed:

1. I’m Smarter *tootshorn*

colicky baby? this too shall pass lol
colicky baby? this too shall pass lol

As a second-time mom, there’s a healthy sense of “been there, done that.” It’s not that I know everything or that I’m suddenly a baby expert but with baby number 2 you already kind of know what to expect, and you’re ready for it. So you know your baby could have growth spurts, sleepless nights, increased appetites, reduced appetites, reflux, colic, eczema, constipation, motion sickness, allergies, lactose intolerance, infinite ear infections, colds and any other weird and wonderful thing that could come up, and you’ll freak out less and be more prepared.

2. I’m more relaxed

I wasted a lot of time, energy and money with my first baby just full-on panicking, and rushing to the hospital. My 2 moms (my mom and my mom-in-Lawv) always have a laugh!! I would worry about everything – Why does he flinch when I carry him down the stairs? Is that green poop? Why is his head oddly shaped? Why does he sneeze 5 times at a go each time? Loool this time, I’m not racing to the pediatrician with a perfectly healthy baby worried about nothing.

3. Hand-Me-Downs

A little throwback to J at 6 weeks :) #tbt I was obsessed with wearing matching colours with him *sigh*
A little throwback to J at 6 weeks 🙂 #tbt I was obsessed with wearing matching colours with him *sigh*

First baby? It’s all about the cool wardrobe. Matching top and pants? Check. Matching outfit with mom. Check. Matching outfit with dad. Check. Little overalls with matching shoes? Check. If he spit up or got messy he got a clean outfit. Again. And it matched or color-coordinated at all times.

With a second baby, especially if like me you have 2 kids of the same gender, it’s likely that your baby would sometimes be wearing something handed down from their older sibling at any given time.

4. Obsessive sterilizing

With my first, if his pacifier or teething toy fell on the floor i’d immediately sterilise it. Well with a Second baby, you are most likely to give it a quick wipe and hand it back to your LO. I mean, after all, the “Hygiene Hypothesis” suggests that to strengthen the immune system we need enough natural microbes and parasites around for our immune system to deal with.

5 Personalizing everything

For our first, J’s nursery was personalized to the teeth, he had everything J hanging and threaded on, and even hand sewn labels. Now the boys share a room lol! And little to none of that personalized stuff lol

6. I’m more flexible

With J – he only ate the recommended baby rice, he wouldn’t try any new food until the cook books said so, he used mostly organic products, and his pacifier had a casing, a string and designated pacifier wipes for as long as I can remember!! But with my second, my little Love Bug CJ, he nibbles on anything and everything edible. If I can eat it, he sure can lol and I think he has even occasionally had chocolate tea from J’s sippy cup.

Yes, I’m breaking minor parenting rules left and right, and we’re both having more fun.

7. I’m better at multi-tasking

I find I’m better at doing a lot of things at the same time and yet controlling my reactions to other, more minor distractions. As any second-time mom knows, the baby phase goes way too fast; you really just want to enjoy every minute of it.

8. I drop my kids off for sleep-overs

If you are a responsible, mature, adult, related to us by blood – you can have them!!! Lol

One thing I would definitely say is – being a second time mom, when family members offer to take the kids or help with your older kid, or take the kids out on the weekend, you mean it from the bottom of your exhausted heart when you say “yes please and thank you”.

Because you’ve realized that you aren’t a “super mom” and that’s okay because there’s absolutely NOTHING like a super mom. We are all winging it!!

9. Toys that aren’t toys

These days I find that I’m not so freaked out about them playing with a hairbrush, credit cards, empty food containers and countless other non-toy-objects-turned-toys lol.

With J I was always so worried about him hurting himself (or getting sick) that I made sure he had lots of easy-to-clean toys available at home, in the car and at grandma’s house. Not so much anymore. If it can’t hurt you, you can play with it.

10 Nanny stalker

With J, I alwayyyyssssss stalked the nanny cam. I would call the nanny a gazillion times a day and drop lists and instructions and detailed minute-by-minute schedules to follow. These days I’m barely making it in time for J’s drop off at school and getting to work on time; so we go with the flow. We manage CJ’s routine as best as we can and I’m not busy stalking the nanny minute-by-minute lol.

Well, this might have something to do with the fact that I’m in complete awe of nanny V – who has been with us since 2014 when J was born. She’s an amazing nanny, and we have been blessed to have her.

So apparently with each kid, I think I get a little *cough cough* better at parenting. Maybe I should reconsider having that third child now. Just kidding lol I swear, I’m absolutely just kidding *straightface*

What do you think you are doing different as a second time mom? Or what do you think you could do differently, if you are having a second baby?

Love & Light,

Oby O

3 COMMENTS

  1. Oby👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
    Officially my woman crush always.God bless your work and i love you with everything good in me.

  2. With my first child, my very wise mum advised me to stop night feeding early, that my baby will be OK. As a newbie that I was, I ignored her and it was so much work stopping it and getting my daughter to sleep at around 1yr. With baby 2, I stopped night feeding at 3months before I resumed work.. and I think that’s one of the best changes I made. If I have another, will definitely go the same route..

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